The Reality
Friday, June 12, 2009
Marriage Funnies
One hundred years ago, conservatives argued against my grandparents getting married on the grounds that they were from different religions. The conservatives quoted the ancient Bible and rested their case on a 3,459 year old essay: "Furthermore, you shall not intermarry with them; you shall not give your daughters to their sons, nor shall you take their daughters for your sons."
Thankfully, my grandparents' love won the fight.
Forty-two years ago, conservatives argued against some people in my parent's generation getting married on the grounds that the couple in love were from different races. The conservatives again quoted the ancient Bible in legal court opinions:
Today, conservatives argue against some people in my generation getting married on the grounds that the couple in love is from the same sex. The conservatives quote the same tired fire and brimstone from the ancient Bible: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? Bill O'Reilly said on the conservative channel, FOX.
I don't doubt that we will win our fight soon. But I'm just so goddamned tired of fighting the same fight over and over again against the same conservatives. Will this country never grow up?
UPDATE:
Dear Bill O'Reilly,
Your ancient book doesn't get to define my legal rights. Our laws do.
You love to say, "Will it end with a box turtle?" No, you're retarded*: iff the turtle pays $36, takes a blood test, is a legal resident of the state, has a legal birth certificate, a social security number, is over 18 years of age, found to be of sound mind, and signs his name with black ink on a civil marriage certificate before the county clerk's officer and a witness... well, yes, that is either a man dressed like a turtle, one of Bush's futuristic animal-human hybrids or, more to the point, you're retarded*.
Kisses,
Fred
¶ 11:39 AM
Thankfully, my grandparents' love won the fight.
Forty-two years ago, conservatives argued against some people in my parent's generation getting married on the grounds that the couple in love were from different races. The conservatives again quoted the ancient Bible in legal court opinions:
"Almighty God created the races, white, black, yellow, Malay, and red and placed them on separate continents, and but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend the races to mix." - Judge Bazile, Caroline County, VA, 1965.Thankfully, Mildred and Richard Loving won the fight. I didn't marry a white person and nobody gave us guff.
Today, conservatives argue against some people in my generation getting married on the grounds that the couple in love is from the same sex. The conservatives quote the same tired fire and brimstone from the ancient Bible: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? Bill O'Reilly said on the conservative channel, FOX.
I don't doubt that we will win our fight soon. But I'm just so goddamned tired of fighting the same fight over and over again against the same conservatives. Will this country never grow up?
UPDATE:
Dear Bill O'Reilly,
Your ancient book doesn't get to define my legal rights. Our laws do.
You love to say, "Will it end with a box turtle?" No, you're retarded*: iff the turtle pays $36, takes a blood test, is a legal resident of the state, has a legal birth certificate, a social security number, is over 18 years of age, found to be of sound mind, and signs his name with black ink on a civil marriage certificate before the county clerk's officer and a witness... well, yes, that is either a man dressed like a turtle, one of Bush's futuristic animal-human hybrids or, more to the point, you're retarded*.
Kisses,
Fred
¶ 11:39 AM
Comments:
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When I say they are retarded I'm not saying that they have a cognitive disability. Please note, I do not want to offend anyone with a cognitive disability.
No, simply, the definition of the word "retard" is what they do and who they are.
Retard: To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede. The intransitive verb is "To be delayed." Noun form is "A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay."
From the Middle English 'retarden', from Old French retarder, from Latin 'tardus', meaning: slow.
Simply: They are a hindering of progress.
I am a progressive. They are retarded.
Eg. Whereas I am for the progression of civil rights, they are for it's retardation.
In all things, they are retardant.
No offense, but these are the meanings of words in our English language. These words mean these things because they're true.
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No, simply, the definition of the word "retard" is what they do and who they are.
Retard: To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede. The intransitive verb is "To be delayed." Noun form is "A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay."
From the Middle English 'retarden', from Old French retarder, from Latin 'tardus', meaning: slow.
Simply: They are a hindering of progress.
I am a progressive. They are retarded.
Eg. Whereas I am for the progression of civil rights, they are for it's retardation.
In all things, they are retardant.
No offense, but these are the meanings of words in our English language. These words mean these things because they're true.
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